The OTHER Side of The Mountain

On the backside of lookout mountain lies Dade County, Georgia. I've never actually been, but I’ve heard tales. My boss, who lives on lookout, had the pleasure of serving jury duty yesterday in Dade County. She came back with countless stories that had us rolling in our chairs this morning.

Before I start, let me say that Chattanooga is growing on me. I consider myself a Chattanooga resident now that we are purchasing property here. And therefore, I believe it is my right to poke a little fun at the residents. Also, since I have a friend who was born, raised and is currently crashing in Trenton (the county seat of Dade county) I am free to say, "some of my best friends are from Dade county." that makes the following acceptable for me to share, right????

First, a nugget of information about Dade to give you a picture of the area... It wasn't until 1945 that Dade County rejoined the union after the civil war. That's right, 80 years later... Speaks volumes, right?

Now, on with the story... My boss sat on a grand jury that heard drug charges against a couple that claimed innocence. They had been the victims of the crack fairy. I guess when they blinked, that ornery little nymph planted some drugs on both of them. And if the defendants weren't silly enough, the arresting officer's testimony sounds like it was pretty entertaining too. At the start, the prosecuting attorney asked if he was going to be able to handle his testimony in a delicate manner. After assuring the court that he could, he explained that during a strip search all of the accused's "edifices" had been searched. He then qualified that the search wasn't done "by me." (Good to know) he went on to explain that a bag of crack cocaine had been discovered in one of the female's "edifices". Despite thinking for a few minutes, he was unable to come up with an appropriate term for her genitalia (or the word orifices...) He had to eventually be coached by the prosecuting attorney, who whispered the correct term in his ear. Whew... Crisis averted.

Dade County... What a gem. Another juror explained that when she recently moved to Trenton she was able to apply for and receive a gun permit in 10 minutes but a driver's license took her three weeks. Sounds about right to me.