The Second Day

The second day back is always the hardest.

The first day deceives you with it's sense of reunion and all the catching up and misguided expectations that things might have changed. Smoke and mirrors confuse you into believing so many tempting thoughts. “Maybe it’s not as bad as I remember.” “Maybe I’ve just been overly dramatic.” “This (insert your headache here) might be survivable.” And since your bucket is still full from being away, there’s hope that floats in the air coaxing you to misremember.

And then the second day belly flops smack dab into the middle of your denial to remind you what is really up. The adrenaline is all but gone and it’s “Back to life, back to reality… back to the here and now, yah.” Meanwhile your bucket is draining and your fears are confirmed. “I may have been dramatic, but I didn’t misremember.” It is uncomfortable. It is out of sorts. It is not right. On the second day continuing seems impossible.

Thankfully the third day follows quickly behind. By the third day coping mechanisms jump back into place and the daily grind yanks attention away from the hurt. Strength returns and the impossible seems a little more bearable.

The second day back is always the hardest.